Emotional and Mental Well-being

Parenting five children, including one with special needs, can be emotionally taxing. There are days when exhaustion sets in, and the weight of responsibility feels overwhelming. Over the years, I’ve developed strategies to maintain my mental health. Those all got put to the test or thrown out the window and I’ve had to reset.

We welcomed Cash, 3 months before Maya started to live with us. The newborn exhaustion and taking care of Collins, Colton and Calynn was a lot. It was bittersweet that it was summertime. This meant trading off naps during the day, Tara and I swappimg sleep shifts at night and adjusting to having four kids.

We also made the decision to have the girls, Collins and Calynn, share a room so that Cash would have his own bedroom once he started sleeping through the night. We had a routine and our emotional and mental well-being was just balancing out. That got flipped upside down come August of 2022. I remember getting the phone call that Corrine had passed. Tara and I were named guardians two years prior as Corrine’s cancer was rapidly spreading. Everything we planned for was quickly changed. Maya ended up taking what was going to be Cash’s room. We were back to sleepless night because Cash was now in our bedroom, Maya woke up throughout the night and would come into our room, waking up Cash. It was miserable. This lasted until about March of 2023. When we finally got Maya on some decent meds that helped her sleep through the night. Our mental and emotional well-being was strained. We were back into survival mode for a long time. July of 2023 is when we finally got some services in place for Maya after fighting for over a year.

We are coming onto a year of ABA services in place for Maya after school and on the weekend and I am just starting to get back into a workout routine and feeling good about my emotional and mental well-being. Obviously regular exercise does wonders. It took me a bit to realize that even if it’s just a quick jog around the block, helps clear my mind. For me, I had to move. Play with the kids, throw on some music and goof off. Finding time for hobbies, whether it’s skateboarding, surfing or DIY project around the house, provides a much-needed break.

Tara and I haven’t had a date night for 2 years but we try to make the most of the time we have when it’s just us. It’s hard finding multiple people, yes we need multiple, to watch and care for our kids. Maya needs a one on one and then we have Cash who is only two years old.  Seeking support—be it through friends, family, or support groups—has been crucial. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s essential to prioritize self-care.